I am British born but of Italian/Spanish descent. Born in Leicester, raised in Coventry and have lived/worked in many countries. I am ex-Royal Navy and I am a professional deep sea diver by trade. I have been working with hard-to-reach young people around the Midlands for the past 12 years and have helped turn many young lifes around.

 

I was with my ex-wife for 23 years and had two beautiful children, after the marriage grew stale we finally separated and divorced. Within just a few months I met a new partner and before we knew it we had a baby on the way. This new relationship was very unstable and I struggled for survival, I was determined to do right by our little baby and so I did all I could to make this relationship work but to no avail.

 

When our little girl was just a few months old, her mother started to use her as a weapon to hurt me by withholding her and using damaging parental alienation tactics. After the ninth time of withholding our daughter from me and failed mediation, I submitted my C100 application for contact. I was granted Shared Parenting and Equal Contact Child Arrangement Order at the first hearing, this was a fantastic result but sadly the mother was unhappy with this result and I was forced to take out a non-molestation order against her, a prohibitive steps order and several hearings later I successfully defended the original 50/50 child arrangement order.

 

Some 19 months later, due to a blatant refusal from the mother to co-parent, further police call-outs and breaches of the court order, I was again left with no choice but to make a new C100 application to become the resident parent. This was an even longer process than the first round. 

 

In almost 4 years I have attended some 16 court hearings. At my very first hearing I was represented by a solicitor who was absolutely useless and I had to intervene early in the hearing and speak for myself. All of the remaining 15 hearings I represented myself as a litigant in person. 

 

I have prepared all of my court bundles and evidence throughout, I had a solicitor initially but after receiving a £7,000 bill for what I just simply do not know, I decided to go it alone. I argued against the solicitors bill and we agreed on £4,000 but they then lodged a CCJ against me for the full amount and it ended up in the High Court bringing the overall bill to £10,040, in my experience family law solicitors are a waste of time and they can not lose whatever the outcome because they win either way because they are being paid. 

 

I am very aware of the perception that historically courts tend to favour the mother and I have witnessed what I deem to be very covert bias towards the mother of my child in the family courts from psychologists, CAFCASS and solicitors. It seems that this particular mother was not held accountable for her countless wrongs yet I as a father who fought for his daughter in a lawful manner and with zero mistakes - was penalised at every opportunity, so I dug my heels in and refused to be railroaded into an unjust and unsustainable outcome. I stand proud and resolute! 

 

Going through this experience has been very traumatic, I have lost people and I have isolated myself from everybody, I have been to the depths of despair, I have had to live with incredible vulnerability, anguish and blind faith, I have watched my once successful life and business sift through my fingers like sand on a beach, I have drifted away from people who I was once very close with and isolated myself, I have had astonishing and unbelievable false allegations made about me and I have learnt just how emotionally strong and tenacious I actually am. This has been a journey from hell and I strongly recommend couples who are in conflict to do all they can to avoid taking their conflict to court - but where there is no alternative then do not hesitate. 

 

Many people turn to crutches such as drugs and alcohol during such traumatic times, many people break down with depression and become forever lost. I found my sanctuary through writing and so I have become a published author. If you would like to know my full story then please log onto www.keepcalmbooks.com or click on the images below;

 

UPDATE FEBRUARY 2019: Following my final hearing back in July 2018 I have returned to court and worked through a further 6 hearings to remove a recital in the final order. I was successful and achieved exactly what I set out to achieve, this process also involved having a barring order that was only 3 months old - lifted. 

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SUMMARY: 22 court hearings over 5 years!